Uncomfortable feelings of ‘want’
I used to write about paintings and merge their meaning with everyday life experiences. Strangely enough, this piece was refused, even though I still consider it one of my best.
However, I decided to post it here. Just because I love it so much.
PS: It took me 2 whole weeks to write it—I got too deep into studying “The Undertaker"—absolutely a mind-blowing piece of art.
Stockport, UK, 1973. He lives and works in Berlin.
Uncomfortable feelings of ‘want’
The work of Ivan Seal is aesthetically uncomfortable because it abandons reality as the source of inspiration. His figures emerge from an intimate memory that represents a distorted equilibrium, swept through moments of life lived, dreamed or desired.
Open windows into the mental “whims” of ourselves. These nonsense, repellent, and distorted paintings grasp our inner core.
The uncontrollable and uncomfortable desire of ‘want’ is unknowingly pursued without rest until we reach our finish line.
Entering the world of Ivan Seal’s paintings is like entering into your dreams. In there, everything seems to be relieved, but in a different dimension. Where things are almost recognisable but you can’t quite give them a name.
Dreams are often like that, where you shapeshift from one place to another, dimed in deja-vu experiences and left devastated or confused with the feelings of alienation.
I don’t want to talk abstractly about his paintings because I know that this makes it more complicated.
However, when you look at his paintings that have been directly swept from the album “The Caretaker,” I advise you to not go into the abyss of that album but rather enjoy his paintings from a different perspective, as I do.
How can you approach this kind of art that makes you feel extremely uneasy and perplexed because it has delved far too deeply into your emotions and consciousness?
Let me guide you
Do you recall those priceless times when you were in the midst of infinite bliss while enjoying your favourite flavour in the world, coffee? (or tea, whatever makes you happy.)
Do you remember how unfamiliar smells filled your nostrils and left traces of memories as they went into your heart?
At that moment, dare I say, were you happy?
Those gaps in time were brief, but you were content. You were in the right place at the right time.
You enjoyed every millisecond of it, but it lasted just as long as your breath.
Inhaled as visions and exhaled into vanity.
Then boredom and monotony crash into you, ruthlessly killing that brief moment of contentment, and you’re back to square one.
And so, you’re left overwhelmed with the feelings of ‘want’ once again.
Alienated feelings of longing for something unfamiliar.
Homesick for places you have never been to but are certain that you have engraved them somewhere in your mind.
And again, you start your pursuit of happiness, not knowing what you miss or what you want, but knowing for sure that those moments are undoubtedly out there.
Barely familiar and deeply unknown, but there nonetheless. This is what keeps you going!
And this is exactly how you feel when you watch Ivan’s paintings. You want to know what they are because they feel familiar but leave you uncomfortable because you can’t quite put your finger on it.
The same bewildered sentiment you have while you are in your dreams.
Distorted memories of unknown places and objects from your deepest unconsciousness.
You know it is there. You’ve dreamt about it.
Ivan’s paintings confront your deepest questions about life, death, memory, and drowned feelings of ‘want’.
“The Caretaker” is an experimental music and art project founded in 1996 and renowned for its investigations into the fields of memory and nostalgia. Later on, his finished stage was exhibited in 2011 and renewed in 2018.
